The Speech No One Will Give This Memorial Day Weekend (Satire)
Rekindle our nation’s honor through remembrance
Dear Citizens aka humans born and residing in the U.S.,
Close your eyes, mostly because that seems to be half the problem these days and think about what it is you want from this nation. Don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
The last thing we need to hear is more nonsense parroted by average Joes, Janes, and Jordans. Don’t belt out garbage from fear mongers you’ve never had at your home (television or electronic devices don’t count.)
Stop acting like f*cking cry babies who think they can decide everything for everyone.
You can’t. I don’t give you that power. In fact, the power you covet can and will be snatched from your warm, self-serving, race-baiting hands with votes. Which is why, oh look, more legislation attacking voters who despise being picked on because of how they look.
Maybe, just maybe, the crowns are too heavy for all the wannabe kings and queens of the United States. Your will be done, never. Not while democracy lives. Now, if you’re serious about all this being erased nonsense, let’s invite England back to the table.
Do you really want to undo 1776 and EVERYTHING that led to it, because you don’t recognize the…
